Recently I watched some videos on my old laptop. Few of which were diaries. In the moments and madness of life I had decided when there seemed no one else to share , to record my thoughts, my desires my appreciations, my challenges and my constant thankfulness of my daughter and family .
I was embracing my journey at a very complicated time . Interestingly this video diary was 1O years ago, probably more . Where, as I watched yesterday, my most poignant words “ my daughter needs me , she needs her mum”, echoed once again in my heart . “no matter what else is going on, she needs me!!!”
In more recent months I have embraced another life turn . One of which I have made HUGE changes , moved house , to a sanctuary for my daughter and me . A place we can create normality structure happy memories .
It took a long time .
I have embraced the parts of a journey for so long that it would not of been neither healthy or possible to have carried on any longer . Heart breaking but warrior making !! ( this is another writing altogether )
I’m mainly writing for those who can read between the lines who know my story, there will be a time for more public definitions but for now this will suffice.
Everyday I sit and get dressed in my room and while doing my hair / makeup , I see this picture illustrated.
It’s a station in my room that reminds me to embrace my journey . It is also filled with happy things . I have flowers that make me smile and remind me of nature and nurture, books that inspire me and my journey, a picture from my daughter that tells and reminds me of faith, grace, and determination; a jar that a friend recently gave to me and asked me to write a happy thought in it each day, because sometimes in the madness and pain of life the happy thoughts seem to get missed, even though they are very much there .
For those of us who are battling life, for freedom, battling sickness or things like supporting family with addiction or mental health issues, emotional pain and hurt, rejection, relationship break up, affairs or loneliness .
Think of ways to embrace your journey.
Recently when it snowed , I was reminded of a childhood memory that made me smile.😊
My mum, every time it snowed and we had to take a journey in the car, would bring the following…..and it didn’t matter how long / near or far the journey was !!!
A flask of coffee
Plenty of coats hats and gloves
and a shovel !! 😊
As a child it was very exciting, an adventure; what if we were to get stuck?
Well I know that we were prepared.
My mum was embracing the unknown journey ahead. She was prepared for the car being cold 🥶 the car getting stuck in a snow flurry, for us being hungry and thirsty. For us to be cosy in the midst of a cold season. It wouldn’t surprise me now if she told me she had a portable loo!!
When I look at my ‘Embrace the journey’ picture. I try and prepare my mind for the day. I surround myself with people in conversation ( due to the pandemic). I try and give to the moment as the moments pass me by, in whatever way I can .
Sometimes I don’t do anything because this too is part of our journey.
I have taken literal steps to embrace my journey at different levels. I’ve sometimes been stationary and I’ve sometimes had to lift the barrier !!
The most important thing, don’t be alone, involve others in your journey. The last 10 years passed me by, although I had offers of help I sometimes battled the journey alone. Now I’m embracing my journey. Reaching out on my journey, and enjoying the ride.
It’s not always an easy one, my troubles are not over, but I’m thankful for the opportunities that I have to keep moving forwards and being prepared for uncertainty both physically and emotionally.
Embrace your journey !!!!